There are so many little things that need to be done. So many LITTLE things.
I started working on it a few months ago: deciding on my name, trademarking it, considering brand guidelines, a logo, do I go LTD? If I don't, how the hell does that work? Oh crap, someone just said business statement at me, like I should have one. A START UP LOAN. I forgot about the start up loan...
..and so on.
Deciding to do this on my own suddenly doesn't seem like the best idea. All my health issues begin to flare up, like a Disney villain, invading my beautiful moment. I spend the last few months in my old agency wondering how I'll ever balance what I want to do, while figuring out why my body's falling apart, keeping my relationship alive and maybe seeing a friend or two at some point.
To make things harder, I decide to get a part time job in a pub down the road. So work during the day, figuring out what 'tax' ACTUALLY means, and turning it into an existential journey, then spend the evening running around a pub, serving people the drinks I so desperately want.
Everything seems a lot harder. I have small victories during the day and great support from my family and friends.
Then I leave my old agency and officially start my first day as Founder of Peatree Productions.
That first day, I land my first paying client, with some creative and exciting on-going work.
Looks like someone was having an elongated panic attack. What I stopped realising is that my work is great, people need me and they will pay me.
Sometimes we let our fears take over, and luckily for me, my awakening came at the perfect time.
When someone would ask how it feels going out into the world on my own, I used say 'I'm excited but damn terrified at the same time'. Now I'm just excited.